Detoxifying Yourself From a Toxic Friend

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Once or twice in our life we get to encounter a toxic friend. A toxic friend is someone who constantly gives you a headache and disappoints you most of the time. She puts you on the spot, embarrasses you and worse, betrays you. It's kind of ironic that you call her a friend when she habitually lets you down. A toxic friend is great in some aspect; she can make you laugh. You have fun when you hang out but when it comes to serious stuff, she always lets you down. One example of a toxic friend is a person who never stands up to her words.

She may be great in giving some advice and is a good listener but when she starts making promises, even if you bet your life on it, she will surely break it. Having a pal like this can be very annoying and infuriating. I have a buddy like this once. She promised me we are going to meet at half past one in the afternoon to watch a great movie but to my dismay, she didn't show up and I ended up waiting for her for five hours. I could have left the first hour but she keeps on calling and swearing that she's stuck somewhere but will arrive in a few moment.

After expecting her to come for five hours, I felt like an idiot for believing her. But instead of getting mad, I totally felt sorry for her. I predictably confronted her the next day but instead of apologizing, she bursts into anger and told me I'm an unsympathetic person not to understand her dilemma. It was futile to argue. I could have forgotten about it but she did it again not only to me but to other people as well. So I finally concluded that she is indeed a toxic friend not only to me but to other people, too.

If you have a pal as toxic as mine, and if you care enough, talking to her helps. Tell her about the value of keeping promises because if she doesn't put some weight on her words, people will never take her seriously. It will be very hard for her to have a meaningful relationship someday. And the next time she promises something, it's wise to challenge her if she can keep it or not. Another toxic friend is a chum who will turn on you. The "Judas" incarnate is the worse thing that can happen to you. Usually a person who betrays a friend is a person with really deep-seated problems.

This person will win your trust and spill it to other people that she will soon betray. She will split your friends up and will tell ill stories about you. A toxic friend like this takes pleasure in your misery. A toxic friend is usually driven by envy and jealousy. The only way to deal with this kind of person is total ignorance and indifference. Never waste another minute being with her. Keep away from her and from anything that has to do with her. It will be very trivial to spend your days with this kind of person. As the line in the great poem Desiderata says "Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit." And so you must, it's just wise.

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Ruth Purple has 1 articles online

The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationships Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.

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Detoxifying Yourself From a Toxic Friend

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This article was published on 2010/04/01
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